While most will be filling out their bracket the old fashioned way, closing your eyes and pointing a finger. But, I like to make my decisions based on mascots. Now this isn’t your run of the mill Which mascot would win in a fight contest. I will, in a 100% subjective manner, decide which mascot is cooler. Let’s not dally any longer…
First Round
South
(1) Florida Gators v. (16) Albany Great Danes - I give a lot of respect to straying from the typical dog breed. The only better breed Albany could have chosen was the Saint Bernard. Winner: Albany
(8) Colorado Buffaloes v. (9) Pittsburgh Panthers - No one is winning any games with a mascot like “Panthers”. Unless they’re playing another team with the same mascot and I like them better than that team. Winner: Colorado
(5) VCU Rams v. (12) Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks - Come on. Winner: SF Austin
(4) UCLA Bruins v. (13) Tulsa Golden Hurricane - UCLA gets credit for being Bears without actually calling themselves bears. Plus Bears are to be feared. And there’s nothing cool about hurricanes. Winner: UCLA
(6) Ohio State Buckeyes v. (11) Dayton Flyers - When I hear the Flyers nickname, all I can think of is the Sandlot. And that’s a win. Winner: Dayton
(3) Syracuse Orange v. (14) Western Michigan Broncos - There’s nothing cool about Broncos right now. Winner: Syracuse
(7) New Mexico Lobos v. (10) Stanford Cardinal - I don’t know what a Lobo is, but Cardinal? Singular? And the tree? Winner: New Mexico
(2) Kansas Jayhawks v. (15) E. Kentucky Colonels - Military mascots are cool. Birds are not. Winner: EKU
East
(1) Virgina Cavaliers v. (16) Coastal Carolina Chanticleers - Yeah. This goes against previous logic, but I can’t stop saying Chanticleer. Winner: Coastal Carolina
(8) Memphis Tigers v. (9) George Washington Colonials - Tigers don’t win. Plus, Memphis. Winner: George Washington
(5) Cincinnati Bearcats v. (12) Harvard Crimson - I have a soft spot in my heart for things that are half bear and half cat. Winner: Cincinnati
(4) Michigan State Spartans v. (13) Delaware Fightin' Blue Hens - Maybe if they were regular hens. But Blue hens? No. Winner: Michigan State
(6) North Carolina Tar Heels v. (11) Providence Friars - You just don’t mess with God. Winner: Providence
(3) Iowa State Cyclones v. (14) NC Central Eagles - Fly Eagles Fly. Also, once again, weather patterns aren’t cutting it. Winner: NC Central
(7) Connecticut Huskies v. (10) St. Joe’s Hawks - Weak first round matchup. I wish I could pick neither. But I really do like actual huskies. Winner: Connecticut
(2) Villanova Wildcats v. (15) Milwaukee Panthers - Another bad first round matchup. I’m picking based on my desire for this bracket to not suck. Winner: Villanova
West
(1) Arizona Wildcats v. (16) Weber State Wildcats - One of two all wildcat match ups. What a bummer. Winner: Arizona
(8) Gonzaga Bulldogs v. (9) Oklahoma State Cowboys - I hate the Cowboys. Winner: Gonzaga
(5) Oklahoma Sooners v. (12) ND State Bison - There’s just something cool about Bison. Winner: ND State
(4) San Diego State Aztecs v. (13) New Mexico State Aggies - There are too many Aggies and not enough Aztecs in college sports. Winner: San Diego State
(5) Baylor Bears v. (12) Nebraska Cornhuskers - See previous matchup with a bear related mascot. Winner: Baylor
(3) Creighton Blue Jays v. (14) LA-Lafayette Ragin' Cajuns - This one isn’t even close. Cajuns, when they’re a-ragin' can’t be beat. Winner: LA-Lafayette
(7) Oregon Ducks v. (10) BYU Cougars - Puddles Winner: Oregon
(2) Wisconsin Badgers v. (15) American Eagles - I’m tempted not to give American a pass. Their full name sounds a bit… douchey. But… Eagles. Winner: American
Midwest
(1) Wichita State Shockers v. (16) Cal Poly Mustangs - Their mascot is the SHOCKERS. Winner: Wichita State
(8) Kentucky Wildcats v. (9) Kansas State Wildcats - Another crummy wildcat matchup. I’ll never pick John Calipari. Winner: Kansas State
(5) St. Louis Bilikens v. (12) NC State Wolfpack - I’m concerned about the repercussions of picking against the Biliken. Winner: St. Louis
(4) Louisville Cardinals v. (13) Manhattan Jaspers - I don’t know what a Jasper is, but it has to beat a Cardinal. Winner: Manhattan
(6) UMass Minutemen v. (11) Tennessee Volunteers - It’s hard to pick against the Minutemen. But… Volunteers? They do it for free. I’m COMPLETELY objective here. Winner: Tennessee
(3) Duke Blue Devils v. (14) Mercer Bears - THERE ARE A LOT OF BEARS IN THIS TOURNAMENT. Winner: Mercer
(7) Texas Longhorns v. (10) Arizona State Sun Devils - Not a fan of the longhorns, but I can’t pick devils. Winner: Texas
(2) Michigan Wolverines v. (15) Wofford Terriers - This is an example of picking an alternate dog, and going the wrong way. Winner: Michigan