This obsession with immediate happiness—which isn’t happiness at all, but some amalgam of selfishness, laziness, and comfort—is at the root of the modern marriage crisis. Marriage is treated as a loose association between two people to maximize happiness. It is characterized by emotionalism, the concept of the One, and the worship of the fairytale ending. Marriage is not sacramental or sacred, it is not set apart, it is merely another potential means to self-satisfaction. This view has contributed to higher divorce rates, lower marriage rates, and, according to my Facebook feed, a whole host of bastard children being robbed of the love, stability, and order of a two-parent home.
Great piece by J.D. Bentley on the value of suffering. I’m glad I had an idea about it heading into marriage, but I’ve learned more and more about it every day. There are days where Lauren and I are so different that it just doesn’t make sense that we chose each other. But we did. And we love each other. And we value the committment we made, even when that committment is hard as shit. There’s no doubt being parents will add a whole new world of challenges. But we’re committed to being martyrs every day for each other and for Charleston (though we will no doubt fail at it many times per day).